


A Sunday Date and Too Much Bologna

by Tahlruil



Series: Things Clint Barton Has [4]
Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dating, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, How Do I Tag, M/M, Parks and Pedal Boats, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, playing fetch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: It's their firstrealdate, in the sense that cheap breakfast food when Tony was half-delirious from lack of sleep probably didn't count. Clint's not sure how the whole 'day at the park' thing would go but at least he's pretty sure Tony will like his dog. He's pretty sure that Tony is a lot more used to the finer things in life, and he just hopes that what he can provide on his dinky budget will be enough to keep his sunshine around.And hey - at least he can promise to always keep the guy in bologna.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Lucky, Clint Barton/Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Lucky
Series: Things Clint Barton Has [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/933402
Comments: 80
Kudos: 407





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been mostly finished for like, forever. :'D I'm currently going through my WIP files and trying to finish off such things, and as such this is now ready to post! Yay! Next chapter should hopefully be up by the end of the week? Maybe?
> 
> Thanks for reading. <3 Comments are much loved and appreciated. :D

"I may have made a miscalculation."

Lucky gave a soft whine to show he agreed, chin perched on the table and his tail thumping against the ground. His one good eye was soulful and just really spoke to the cosmic connection between them. Clint was pretty sure that Lucky was him in dog form, like maybe they were like, twin souls or whatever Nat sometimes went on about when she was really, _really_ drunk on Vodka. His buddy nosed at one of the still-full bologna packages, whining again as he did.

"I know, I know. I bought waaaay too much of that shit. Should have stopped at, you know. The one package." Lucky wuffed, tail beginning to wag his body and Clint could only sigh. "Exactly. Got too excited and just... ugh. Guess I'm gonna have to figure out where Tony's workshop is and surprise him with sandwiches." Surveying the two and a half packages he had left, he sighed again. "For like, the next month. Fuck."

He and Lucky had both already tried a piece, and both pieces were abandoned on the floor under the table. Not even mustard could save the deli 'meat', but what Tony wanted, Tony got. The surplus was just his own damn fault for not keeping his impulses in check. It was just that he had pictured his boyfriend's pouting face, and he'd panicked just a little bit.

Because his dog was awesome, he lifted up and plopped his two front paws on the table. Lucky then snagged the package and hopped back down, tail held stiff as he trotted off. Clint knew he was headed for the living room closet - the one the dog could paw open with ease - to hide the disgusting stuff. He was a good boy.

Clint just had to remember to fetch the bologna and throw it away before it started to smell.

"Good boy, Lucky," he praised on his buddy's return. "Good boy. Did you get rid of that yucky bologna? Did you? Oh yes you did. Yes you did! Such a good boy." Lucky's fur was soft beneath his fingers as he gave the dog's ears a good rub. "Tony is gonna love to meet such a good, good boy. We just won't tell him about the bologna hiding, okay? He likes it. We're very lucky he has such terrible taste, aren't we? Yes we are. Yes we are!" Lucky was whining and leaning into his touch, vibrating with happiness and excitement. The dog knew they were about to do something fun - he'd watched Clint pack up some of his toys and had immediately run to grab his leash. He'd presented it with glee, prancing for a moment when the slobber covered thing was also packed away.

"Alright. Bologna sandwiches are a go, and I brought something edible for us too. Wine was nixed because I don't wanna deal with a potential public intoxication charge today. Tony's underage, after all, and we don't wanna drag him down like that. So we've got Gatorade, water, and some sweet tea. Your toys are all set, the car is mostly holding together, and I am definitely wearing pants. Yes I checked," he defended when Lucky whined softly. "Today's too important not to. I don't think Tony would like it too much if I show up in my boxer briefs. Might think I want some hanky-panky or something and we're not there yet. Don't wanna scare him, so I double checked the pants situation and I am definitely dressed."

Lucky gave him the side-eye, which involved physically turning his head since he only had the one. Clint scoffed at his dog's judgement before giving him a final pat on the head. Whistling happily he gathered up his things and headed for the door... only to stop cold once he had already locked it behind him.

"Shoes. Fuck. I forgot shoes!" Lucky began barking and dancing in place, clearly amused by his failings. He guessed he deserved to be judged by his dog after all.

He really was lucky Tony had such terrible taste.

~.~.~

It still felt really, really awkward to be in Tony's building. The place was way too rich for his blood and everyone he passed by let him know it with their sneers. His sweet boyfriend had some terrible fucking neighbors. He always did his best to keep from thinking about how Tony could afford to live there. That way lay nothing but misery and paranoia.

The old lady he shared the elevator with on the way up certainly knew he didn't belong there. Her finger hovered over the 'Emergency' button the whole way. The heavy suspicion she exuded made him hunch in on himself in an attempt to look less intimidating. Not that it worked, judging by the sour twist of her lips. Clint pretty much leaped out of the elevator when it finally stopped at Tony's floor, desperately needing to be with someone who wouldn't look at him like a piece of gum that needed to be scraped off their shoe. His boyfriend would never do that which made him the perfect person to run to.

Tony threw the door open only a heartbeat after Clint's knuckles hit the door the first time. The man was radiant, all smiles and sparkling eyes and happiness. Something warm and sweet curled inside of him - he'd done that. He was the reason Tony looked that way. Nobody, not even Nat, had ever looked at him like that.

"Clint!" Knowing what to expect, he easily caught his boyfriend when the man jumped at him. For his trouble he got a sweet kiss, and Tony's arms and legs stayed wrapped around him. "You're here!"

"Said I would be. It's like you don't trust me," he teased before burying his nose in Tony's hair. Breathing him in was a fucking delight, and he knew he was grinning like an idiot himself. They hadn't seen each other in a couple days after all. This was so much better than texts and phone calls. "No way I'd miss a date with you, sunshine."

He would blow off _Nat_ for Tony. He was in deep for all that they hadn't been dating very long.

"Best boyfriend," Tony cooed while nuzzling his neck. "Is Lucky still in the car?"

"Yeah. Figured he'd just piss on stuff if I brought him up. Hey Rhodes." He couldn't wave at Tony's friend, not with his hands occupied with holding his boyfriend up, but he did manage a nod in the guy's direction. He got a wave back while Rhodes ambled their way, an amused expression on his face and a cup of coffee in one hand. "Did you have a nice conversation with the coffee pot?"

"Bernice," Rhodey corrected, one eye twitching just a little. "Its name - her name," he hurried to correct himself when Tony shot a glare back at him. "Her name is now Bernice. Pretty sure soon she'll get a body and shit."

"She's still only sort-of sentient," Tony said with a shrug. Maybe that was supposed to make things better but Rhodey didn't seem placated. Clint wasn't really sure what the big deal was and made a mental note of the name. He also really wanted to meet her, because when the fuck else was he going to get the chance to meet a talking, sort-of sentient coffee maker? Except that would probably be an Event and an Experience, so he'd wait until Lucky wasn't hanging out in the car waiting for him before he'd ask. "So it's fine. She probably won't go on a rampage."

"Well that's... good? I think?" He shot a look to Rhodes and only got an eye roll in response. "Anyway. I'll try to have him home by 10," he teased while tightening his arms around his boyfriend.

"Keep him. I'm trying to study for an exam and this one keeps busting his ass into my room at all hours of the damn day and night--"

"For very important reasons!"

"Your dream about me and Bernice getting married was not a 'very important reason', Tones."

"Excuse me? It was a beautiful and heart-wrenching ceremony. I thought you would want to hear all about it and the very touching speech I gave."

"Wow. That is... that's what you dream about sunshine?"

"Sometimes?"

"Your brain is fascinating." He gave Tony a smacking kiss that made the younger man giggle, a faint blush springing to life on his cheeks. "Sure you don't want him back in a timely fashion Rhodes? 'Cause me and Lucky'll totally keep him forever." While his boyfriend gave another of those bright smiles before hiding it in Clint's neck, his roommate looked thoughtful.

"I guess I'd miss him after a while. So yeah, if he's not here in the morning I'm coming after your ass, Barton. Don't forget it."

"Me and Lucky could take you."

"Maybe. But I have Bernice." Rhodes grinned, sharp and fierce, but that melted quickly into a smile. "Have a good time. Don't do anything Tony usually would."

"Hey!"

"Bye Rhodes. Good luck with the studying."

"Byyyyye Sourpatch! Looooooooove yoooooooooouuuuu!"

Tony was still yodeling his love to Rhodes the whole way down the hall, drawing even more disapproval than Clint had on his own. At least this time he could smile about it. Being cranky with the guy's shitty neighbors was really, really hard when he had his boyfriend wrapped around him, clinging like a limpet. Sunshine just made everything better really.

They spent the elevator ride and all its frequent stops catching up on the few things they hadn't already talked about on the phone. He got to hear about the 'minor' explosion that happened in 'Brucie-bear's lab and got to tell Tony about the knock-down, drag-out fight that had happened in the bar the night before. Not once did his boyfriend show any signs of wanting to be let down to walk on his own, so Clint happily kept him cradled close and carried him right out of the building. Apparently all the sourpusses were already in their apartments too, because most of the faces they encountered actually had _smiles_ on them. Maybe all rich people weren't complete assholes after all.

Because his boyfriend was the fucking best, Tony didn't even blink when he realized that the beaten, battered and bright green Honda belonged to him. Just for that he gave the other man a sweet kiss as he set him carefully down on the pavement. He totally didn't deserve the guy, but he was definitely going to hang on for as long as he could.

He could have stood there forever just kissing Tony... but Lucky had other plans. The dog started barking and whining loud enough that they could both hear him through the windows. His boyfriend immediately pulled away with a gasp, then began to dance in place.

"Oh my God, is that Lucky? I need to meet him. Like, yesterday. Cliiiiint, where are your keeeeeys?"

Bold of Tony to assume the door to the piece of shit was locked. He was very, very wrong about that, but just to humor his boyfriend he did indeed fork over his keys. In return he got a loud smooch to his cheek before Tony was running to the car. It was both funny and sweet how damn excited the guy was about the whole thing; Lucky wasn't much better. As soon as he realized Tony was opening the car door, Lucky began to scream his excitement, tail wagging the entire car right along with him. Once he was free, the one-eyed dog hopped down to the ground and began to dance around his new human... until Tony got right down on the ground with him.

That was all the permission Lucky needed to throw himself at the guy. Laughing with another oh-so-bright smile on his face, Tony landed hard on his ass and immediately threw his arms around the dog's neck. Lucky continued to make happy sounds as he bathed the man's face and neck with love directly from his tongue and Tony kept right on laughing as he soaked up the attention.

Clearly it was love at first sight, and he wasn't even upset when his boyfriend elected to ride to the park in the back so he could keep snuggling with Lucky. The two of them liking each other was fantastic - Lucky was pretty much the only other important 'person' to him besides Nat. Both of them had given their seal of approval, so this new relationship of his was on pretty solid footing. He was also pretty sure that Rhodes liked him just fine despite the continued hard looks and side-eyes he got from the man. It was... nice. The whole thing they had going was just so fucking great it was almost worrying.

It was going to _suck_ when his past reared its deformed, ugly head and fucked everything up.

Tony spent the whole ride talking at Lucky, who already seemed to adore him. The babble of it was soothing, so much so that even the traffic and the other shitty driver's on the road didn't even get to him. He got out of the car wearing the same smile he'd had when he'd gotten in, which was pretty rare. Other people were assholes, and nothing seemed to draw that out of an individual more or faster than driving.

But just then he was full off goodwill and cheer, because his adorable boyfriend loved his dog and they were so cute together that he wanted to die. As they piled out of his piece of shit car, Tony's beaming smile shifted to something a bit more bemused. He stayed close to Lucky as Clint popped the trunk and even obligingly clipped the dog's leash onto his collar and held it loosely. Not that Lucky would have gone anywhere, of course. It was mostly for show, to keep people from bitching at him about being irresponsible. Since it also kept his dog safe he didn't especially mind the charade. Hadn't ever seemed to bother Lucky either, not when the leash translated to 'walkies' and 'fun' in his furry little mind.

"Come on." He slung his free arm over Tony's shoulders, drawing him in close. His tactile boyfriend immediately burrowed close, his own arm wrapping around Clint's waist. It was a pretty great way to head into the park in his opinion. Sure Tony still looked a little confused about what exactly they were doing there, but he was pretty sure that once they got settled that attitude would turn itself around. He got the feeling that his boyfriend just hadn't had many lazy days outside in a park - he'd need a little guidance on how to relax, that was all.

"So the first thing we gotta do is stake out a spot," he murmured against Tony's temple. "I got a couple favorite spots - by the lake it's cooler but more crowded. We could go towards the trees where it's shadier, but then there's the bugs to deal with. Out in the sun you have space and less bugs, but sunburn is a definite danger. What do you think, sunshine?"

"I like that there's no perfect choice," Tony teased while knocking their hips together. "I don't mind a little sun, especially since you probably brought along sunscreen. You're like a boy scout - always prepared."

"I am so, so far from being a boy scout. But yes, I do have sunscreen. I burn like bacon, by which I mean to a crisp. Figured it couldn't hurt to bring enough for you too. And if we get too hot we can always uproot and move somewhere else. We aren't nailing down the blanket or nothin'."

"You brought a blanket? I mean, I saw the basket and I thought.. but really? A blanket too? We're having the full picnic experience?"

"Only the best for you, sunshine. I've got the blanket, the basket, the sandwiches and sweet tea - also Gatorade just in case - and some frisbees and shit to play with too. We're all set up to have a good old fashioned amazing time. Even a man of my limited means can set up a picnic."

He didn't quite understand the small frown on Tony's face, just hoped it didn't have anything to do with his chosen venue. After a few seconds of silence - during which he started to sweat just a little - Tony wrapped him up in a tight hug, face pressed against his throat. "Don't talk about yourself that way," his boyfriend said quietly. "You always do that."

"I know I'm broke, sunshine, so--"

"Maybe, but you don't have to act like you're a crappy boyfriend because of it. This was sweet and thoughtful, so stop--" Tony cut himself off and blew out a gusty sigh. "I just don't like it when you put yourself down, even in a jokey way. You don't like it when I do it either. So how about we both try to stop?"

"... I can try." He didn't have any hands free to tip Tony's chin up, so he had to do an awkward maneuver with his neck to catch the man's lips with his instead. "Now come on. Lucky wants to go sit in the sun and stare at you sadly until you throw the frisbee."

"Awww, you don't have to sad-eye me, Lucky!" Tony leaned down and made kissy noises at his dog, sending the poor thing into a tizzy of happiness at the attention. "I'd love to throw you a frisbee! Do you need me to carry anything, or can me and Lucky go get a spot?"

"Go ahead - I've got it." Maybe he'd brought a lot of stuff, but none of it was hard to carry. Watching his boyfriend and dog frolic ahead of him was much more preferable than getting rid of a little inconsequential weight. "I'll meet you in a minute. Don't let him chase any squirrels!" he called as the two began to run toward the entrance. "It only depresses him when he can't catch them!"

He couldn't help the goofy grin he could feel stretching across his face. Maybe Tony seemed a little bemused by the choice of date venue but he was rolling with it nicely. He was smiling that smile that made Clint's heart feel just a little too big for his chest too, which was awesome. His reaction to the paddle boat was gonna be a hell of a thing - he needed to remember to snap some pictures for Rhodes.

After shifting the things he was carrying to a more comfortable position, he followed after Tony and Lucky at a slow jog. As much as he liked watching them together he sort of felt like he shouldn't leave them alone together for too long. Their combined charm could bring the world to its knees and have people begging for them to take it over and then who would look after it? Bernice? A coffee pot that was only mostly non-sentient was probably not the best caretaker for the world but he sure as hell wasn't gonna do it. He was just going to have to take one for all of humanity and keep his boyfriend and dog close.

Terrible hardship, but he was just a giver that way.

Tony found a spot much quicker than he would have, but he tended to have pretty high standards and requirements from his lounging spots. Mostly he liked to be closer to the wooded areas so he could have something at his back. His boyfriend probably didn't have that same issue and wouldn't care that they were going to be out in the open, where anyone could get to them at any time. Lack of defensive potential wasn't a factor for most other people. If he managed to pull of a miracle and hold onto the guy for a month or two more he' try to explain his twitchiness and paranoia.

For the moment he was happy to spread out the blanket with one gallant flourish just where Tony asked him to. They weren't quite ready to eat, so he put the basket off to one side and sorted through the toys instead. Lucky was on his belly, nose only an inch or so from his hand, watching with his one good eye and his tail wagging his whole body.

"You can go ahead and unclip him," he told Tony with a grin. "Can't play fetch _or_ Frisbee like that. Nobody'll complain once we start playing." Mostly true - one or two people might get a stick up their ass, but most folk left a dog happily playing alone.

"Does he like fetch or Frisbee better?"

"Pizza. He likes pizza better."

"You are such an idiot," Tony said in a fond tone of voice. He sweetened the 'insult' further by pressing a kiss to his cheek. "That wasn't one of the choices."

"That may be true, but that doesn't make my answer _not_ true. As for games? It sort of depends. Frisbee is a little harder for him - depth perception with one eye can be a bitch, you know? But he likes the challenge on occasion, I think." Lucky huffed, annoyed by the delay and all the talking, then lunged forward just enough to push his tennis ball with his snout. "He has spoken! We'll do fetch."

"Probably better. I have no fucking idea how to throw a Frisbee."

"Aww, sunshine. I'll teach you after lunch while Lucky is sleeping off his meal."

"You don't have to."

"Can't give you archery lessons for a while - please let me have _some_ excuse to 'adjust your grip'." His waggling eyebrows sent Tony into a fit of laughter. That had been the goal, so he couldn't help but feel a little smug when that laughter was hard enough to send Tony tumbling down to the blanket on his side. Lucky barked and tried to help his new human. That only led to another prolonged round of giggles as his cold, wet nose sought out Tony's neck and stomach.

It took a little while for both of them to calm down and that was okay by him. He got to watch the cute that was just about enough to kill him and even snapped a few pictures on his phone. He'd have to ask Tony if it was okay to keep them - he hoped his boyfriend said yes. There was a picture he'd really, really like to set as Tony's contact image.

"Alright chuckleheads. Lucky, you ready to fetch buddy?" The dog jumped to his feet with a high-pitched bark, the sat on his bottom hard and began to 'sweep' the grass with his tail. "Good boy. Ready?"

Lucky loved to run even more than he liked to catch the ball, so he didn't take off the moment it left his hand. Instead he waited until it had sailed over his head and only then was he off like a shot. He watched his fuzzball with a smile for a second then turned to Tony. Tony, who was staring at him with a dropped jaw and rosy cheeks. His eyes were full of something like awe, which made his chest puff out a little in pride even while something vaguely uncomfortable clenched in his stomach.

"The arm muscles on you..." The tone in Tony's voice bordered on reverence, and yeah. Time to go hide under a rock and blush until he died. "Uh, I mean. Good throw? Great throw! I don't think I could throw half so far..."

"Thanks sunshine. My arms are my best feature." He tossed his boyfriend a wink that made the guy flush and close his mouth instead of lodging whatever protest he'd clearly had in mind. While they watched Lucky chase and eventually catch the ball he slung an arm over Tony's shoulder and tucked him close. Visibly pleased with where he'd ended up, Tony snuggled closer and gave a quiet hum. "You get the next throw. He'll be sad if you don't play too."

"Maybe, but he's gonna be mad when he sees how bad I am at throwing. I'm a _geek_ , Clint. I don't sport."

"You don't have to sport to throw a ball to a dog, Tony."

"You say that now, but--" Lucky stopped their 'argument' by dropping his slobber-covered ball right in Tony's lap. He then immediately sat down with his tail working double-time, giving Tony his saddest, most pleading look. "Aw, don't look at me like that. Of course I'll throw it for you buddy! Just... it's not gonna go that far and don't judge me for it, okay? Here goes!"

And yeah, the ball didn't go nearly as far, but Lucky didn't give a shit. He was just as happy to go tromping after it as he had before. Tony gave a laugh that sounded delighted, then snuggled closer to his side. When he turned to press a kiss to the man's temple, he lingered there for a moment with his eyes closed. The sun was warm on his face, his boyfriend was an adorable disaster, and Nat had checked in with him that morning to let him know she was okay. Life was pretty fucking perfect, and their date had only just started.

He couldn't wait to show Tony the pedal boats. He'd even brought an extra screwdriver, just in case.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are all safe, healthy, and have enough toilet paper. <3 Longer note from me at the end if you're interested in my babble.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments are love. <3

The tennis ball was covered in slobber and dirt by the time Lucky finally collapsed in a happy pile of fluff at their feet. Once there he set his head on Tony's knee and looked up at them hopefully, tail dusting the ground. When they failed to immediately read his mind and give him what he wanted the dog whined and rolled towards the picnic basket. Tony began to laugh when Lucky then pawed at the basket, giving another very dramatic whimper.

"Like I didn't feed you this morning, you glutton."

"Hey, playing fetch is hungry work, isn't it Lucky? Yes it is, you giant ball of fluff. Yes it is." Lucky had completely forgotten about food now that Tony had his fingers buried in his fur. The dog was instead on his back, legs and tail flailing with absolute joy as his tummy was rubbed. "What a good boy you are! Clint, come on - feed this good boy."

"You're both ridiculous and you deserve each other." Thank fuck he himself was ridiculous so he wasn't out of place. "But fine, we'll eat. What do you want to drink, sunshine? I'm guessing Gatorade, drink of sports champions and sleep deprived nerds alike." Tony rolled his eyes but laughed, most of his focus still on the dog.

"I want sweet tea. And mustard. Did you bring mustard?"

"Not sure sweet tea is the right place for it, but--"

"For my sandwiches! Mustard might go with everything, but sweet tea is a bit of a stretch. I mean, I'm sure I could drink it--"

"Without gagging?"

"But then I might not have enough for my food. Bologna sandwiches _need_ mustard Clint." That tracked - bologna certainly needed all the help it could get. Since his boyfriend had made such an excellent point he dropped the joke and went for the basket instead. It didn't take long at all to have the spread laid out. There was a clear division between Tony's gross, inedible pile of sandwiches and his own appetizing turkey club creations. He figured just a look at them would tempt the genius into abandoning his disgusting choice, so he'd made several extras.

Though if Tony was willing to entertain even the joking idea of drinking sweet tea with mustard in it...

"Dunno if you like brownies or not, but they're kind of the only dessert I can manage even with the help of a boxed mix. Baking baffles me." That earned a giggle so fucking adorable that he just had to swoop in and press a quick kiss to Tony's temple. "And the mac salad is absolutely courtesy of the local grocery store and is pretty damn tasty. I had deviled eggs, but they, uh. Didn't survive the packing process. For, you know. Reasons." He briefly thought about blaming the dog, but he knew he'd eaten twice as many as Lucky had so he kept his mouth shut. "Hope it's enough."

"It all looks great! And brownies are my favorite anyway. I especially like the gooey kind. Are yours gooey?" Tony made that sound vaguely suggestive. Much to his own mortification, he felt a bit of heat rising to his cheeks and the back of his neck. "Are they... _moist_ and _succulent_?"

"You are a menace," he muttered while trying to hide just how much he was blushing. "A cute one sure, but still a menace. Do you want some mac salad or no?"

"Yes please! And the mustard - I need the mustard ASAP."

It was... it was really fucking nice, the way they fell quiet while eating. Usually his dates were all frenetic energy, epically bad decisions and wandering hands. This was better, sweeter - he had Tony tucked against his side while Lucky was splayed over their feet. Sure he could smell both the bologna and the mustard Tony had drowned it in, but there was also the scent of the guy himself tickling his nose. He could people-watch in peace without needing to fill the silence, though he did sort of wonder what was going on in the big brain of his boyfriend. He probably wouldn't understand most of it, but he'd still like to 'ooh' and 'aaah' and watch Tony do his best to explain it.

Guy got all excited and used his hands in fascinating ways when he was trying to explain shit Clint had no hope of understanding. The best part was the way Tony actually _did_ manage to help him understand some of it. Not a lot, usually only just enough to drive home just how damn smart his boyfriend was, but that was fine. He had his own strengths.

He just sort of dreaded the day he had to show them off was all.

"Those were the best bologna sandwiches ever."

"Probably had a lot to do with the amount of mustard you dripped on 'em."

"I think you probably just bought the good bologna."

"I got the stuff in the bright yellow package, so I'm thinking that I didn't actually get 'the good' kind. The good meats are usually in the deli case where they can get sliced by some poor schmuck who has no idea what they're doing. I was one of those schmucks once, so I know what I'm talking about here. Kinda. Do you know how many different thicknesses 'thin enough for a sandwich' can mean? Because I do. Boy do I ever. In conclusion, don't work at a deli in the supermarket, but that's probably where you should get bologna."

Tony stared at him for several seconds, mouth pursed and mind clearly working through everything he'd said. Finally he blinked and tipped his head to the side, looking remarkably like Lucky.

"Sooo... is it more or less helpful that I tell them how many millimeters thick I want it?" It was his turn to stare for a second, and then he couldn't help but start to laugh. "Clint, I'm serious!" The playful whine didn't help anything, and he turned his head to try and hide his laughter in Tony's hair. It didn't work, especially since the genius immediately began poking and pinching at his sides and stomach, mounting a tickling offensive once he realized what worked.

He thought about mounting a counter-offensive, but it was more fun to try to dodge or squirm away. Once Lucky threw himself into the fray things got a little crazy. The 'tussle' was full of flailing limbs and fur; it didn't take long for Tony to start laughing after that. It took a little doing since his traitor dog had a new favorite and was shamelessly aiding the enemy, but eventually he managed to get the upper hand. Well, maybe 'upper hand' wasn't quite right. Mostly he ended up on the bottom of the pile, Tony's fingers digging into sides relentlessly and Lucky's tail whapping him repeatedly in the face as he begged for mercy.

Eventually his request was granted and the dog reluctantly crawled off of Tony to stretch out at their sides, panting happily. Tony stayed right where he was, draped over Clint with his fingers still poised to tickle. A brief skirmish allowed him to capture those wicked digits in his own. He liked the way Tony blushed when he pressed a kiss first to his knuckles and then those calloused fingertips. Less nice was the uncomfortable look that followed swiftly.

When Tony tried to slip away completely, he rolled onto his side to keep the man close without things being so suggestive. Like a miracle those unhappy wrinkles smoothed out and he got a beaming smile instead. There was clearly an issue there and one they should address... later. Another day when the sun wasn't so warm and there weren't peddle boats awaiting their pleasure.

"How many different jobs have you even had? Archer, origami artist, bartender, deli clerk... is there anything you haven't done?"

"Not super fond of water, so I've never directed a cruise or driven many boats."

"Dived for buried treasure?"

"Only the once, and I didn't see a dime of the money after. Worst gig ever." Tony pressed a laugh into his collarbone. It just about made his heart stop even as it sent him soaring high. "I mean it. At least when I was sweeping up cow shit I got paid later."

"Maybe, but 'shit sweeper' doesn't sound as glamorous as 'treasure hunter'. Or 'pirate'. Is pirate closer?"

"Since the whole op... uh. I mean. Since it wasn't strictly legal, yeah. I guess pirate is pretty much the truth. I was very briefly a pirate, but the pay was lousy and I'm--"

"And you're not fond of water."

"Not fond of water, right, so I got out of the pirate life pretty quickly. What about you? Any fun jobs in your history?"

"No? I mean, not unless you count that time I hacked into NASA for ten dollars and a really great grilled cheese sandwich."

"I _absolutely count that_ and I demand more details right the hell now. You hacked NASA? There's aliens on the moon, ain't there? I keep tellin' Nat but she doesn't believe me. Unless the whole thing was faked? I heard that once, but I don't buy it. I'm all-aboard the alien train, not a crazy conspiracy theorist."

"Right. Aliens, not conspiracies."

"See, when you say it it sounds bad."

"I didn't find evidence of aliens, and Rhodey was just as disappointed as you are. He was sure--"

"You hacked into NASA for _Rhodes_?"

"People think he's the stable one in our relationship and it's very funny how wrong they are. We're both unstable little isotopes, clinging to each other in a world that doesn't understand us. And you've never had his grilled cheese sandwiches, so you don't get to judge."

"I absolutely get to judge, and I judge it awesome. Did you get caught?"

"No? I mean, I wouldn't have, but while I was digging around in their schematics I noticed some serious flaws in the engineering of a next-gen shuttle. The intention behind it was great, but the whole thing was essentially a disaster waiting to happen. And disasters in space are typically not good, you know? You can't just call a tow truck or get an engineer in there to fix the problem. Don't get me wrong, most of the people they send up their are smart and capable, but some things are just..."

"Some things need genius."

"A certain _type_ of genius." When he glanced down at his boyfriend, Tony's expression was torn between smug and shy. "I'm a literal rocket scientist, but I probably couldn't man one of the shuttles myself."

"Bet you could."

"Shut-up." A half-hearted shove to his shoulder later, Tony tucked his head under his chin and sighed. "Anyway. I couldn't just let that go, because people could have gotten hurt. And I have a problem with incompetence in principle and I was itching to take the asshole who designed that hot mess down a peg. But mostly because people probably would have died."

"Bet you got their attention in the flashiest way possible, didn't you sunshine?"

"... I built a scale model and took video of it once I'd fired it up. Pym helped."

"Is that why you aren't allowed to be in the same room as him?!"

"Yeah. It went boom." Tony snorted, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. "Burned down a big chunk of one of the workshops. But we were totally behind the glass and safe the whole time! The admin totally overreacted. We even made sure there was no one else in the building - we really went above and beyond the call of duty. And it was for NASA! For _science_!"

Tony was a crazy little nerd, and he meant that with complete affection and adoration. His cheeks had turned rosy from annoyance and frustration - probably at being denied future 'boom's - and his eyes were gleaming in that manic way Nat's did when she talked about ballet and poisons. He was beautiful and a little insane and Clint was just about ready to worship him. Probably anybody who looked at them could see hearts in his eyes or some shit.

"If you ever need a place to blow up for science, you just let me know sunshine. I'll find you a place."

"You are the best boyfriend." Embarrassed and too damn pleased about it, he leaned in for a soft, quick kiss. One turned to two, then a few more. They spent the next while trading lazy kisses in the sun. It was the best date he'd ever had.

"I got one more thing lined up," he finally murmured an eternity later. They'd stopped kissing and were dangerously close to napping, or at least Tony was. If they didn't get up and head for the boats now he was pretty sure they'd never get there. "But if you don't want to, we can totally laze around right here instead. Either way is fine by me." And it was. He'd be totally happy if Tony did drift off and he could spend the next half an hour or so guarding the man's sleep.

It wasn't to be though. Tony had already sprung up, his slack and sleepy expression melting into one of excitement. "What is it? You can't just say you've got something for us to do and then not tell me what it is!"

"Calm your jets, I'm gonna tell you. Jeeze." In a mature move he stuck out his tongue and Tony stuck his own out right back. They were the peak of adulthood everywhere, really. "Look, remember how I said I wasn't fond of water? That's mostly like, the ocean and huge lakes and stuff. Smaller bodies of water are just fine by me, and there's a little lake here - more of a pond, really, and--"

"Let me stop you there. I didn't bring my swim trunks and I refuse to skinny dip in a place that has so many children." Tony sounded absolutely, dramatically scandalized and was clutching at his heart and everything.

"Thanks for the morals check, o hacker mine, but that's not what I was driving at. They have these little boats. You peddle 'em and you can take them out for a bit. Most of the ducks around here are totally desensitized, so you can get pretty close to feed them. You in?"

Tony's face was doing another complicated maneuver, one he had no hope of decoding. He waited it out patiently, watching Tony where he was looming over him and absently rubbing at Lucky's ears. He hoped whatever was behind that look was something good. Fuck, he shouldn't have done the boat thing. Rhodes had tried to warn him and he hadn't listened. Fuck. That was fine, they could do something else. There were probably a few ice cream vendors in the park, and who didn't love ice cream? Ice cream could save the day!

"You come here a lot, huh?" Thrown by the sudden question, he blinked up at his boyfriend and shrugged. At the unimpressed look he got, he rolled his eyes and threw in a nod for good measure. "You come here often enough to know all the pros and cons of every area, and to know that the ducks let you get close while you feed them. Don't think I didn't see all the people who waved to us either, Clint, because I totally saw them. You hang out here a lot, peddling boats and throwing stuff for your dog and feeding ducks."

"I mean... yeah?

"And you're also really good at origami, and archery. And you bar tend and have arms that quite frankly most Greek statues would be jealous of, but you don't work out that much. Instead you spend most of your time at work except for the hours you spend on campus with Nat, and I'm pretty sure you aren't even a student. You have a dog with one eye who hates bologna as much as you do - don't think I didn't notice that - and a car that looks like it went through the war and won. And you spent an almost concerning amount of time watching me before you introduced yourself and kidnapped me for pancakes."

"... pancakes you were in desperate need of?" he offered, still not sure where this was going and feeling pretty fucking uncomfortable about that. Tony didn't sound accusing or angry, but he didn't sound happy either. He sounded like he was trying to put together a puzzle, and that was... well. He knew he was an odd duck, and not just because the old ladies he played cards with every other Thursday told him so. It wouldn't be a shock if Tony couldn't figure out how to put the pieces together and just gave up on him. He was kind of expecting it at some point, to be honest.

"You think it's awesome that I hacked NASA and you'd find me a place to blow shit up in if I asked. Probably wouldn't even ask why."

"I _would_ ask how big the explosion was going to be, if that helps. You need the right space for the job after all. Safety first."

"Where the fuck have you been all my life?" That was... not was he was expecting. At all. He'd been braced for Tony to give up and walk away; he had in no way prepared for the stars that were in his boyfriend's eyes. He definitely hadn't expected the man to flop down on top of him for another round of kisses that were just a little less sweet than usual. There was an edge there that hadn't been before, like Tony was trying to tell him something without words. It left them both breathless and holding onto each other tightly, and he wasn't ever going to let this man go. Not unless Tony asked him to. Until then? He was gonna hold on and fight tooth and nail to keep him.

"So. Boats?"

"Boats."

Packing up the picnic was quick work, though Tony didn't miss the opportunity to tease him about his gooey brownies again. He got to heft the basket in one hand again while his boyfriend held Lucky's leash. Their free hands found each other and their fingers tangled together. He would viciously deny blushing when it happened, but he wasn't sure anyone would buy it. Nat sure wouldn't when he told her all about it.

He wasn't even sorry when they never made it out onto the water. Tony had taken one look at the beached peddle boat with an 'out of order' sign and fallen in love. Or at least in lust, because once it happened he didn't have eyes for anything else. Presenting him with the screwdriver he'd brought had earned Clint a hard, almost dirty kiss and another cooed 'best boyfriend'. Nathan - the guy he'd traded for to get some time out on the water - had at first been outraged by the way Tony went at the boat with glee. Once it was clear that the genius knew exactly how to fix the boat, however, that turned to downright glee. For the next hour Nathan fetched and carried tools while Tony tinkered.

Watching Tony work was fascinating, almost magical, and Lucky agreed... for the most part. They did have to take a few breaks to go for short walks and even played a short round of Frisbee after Nathan talked Tony into going over _all_ the boats. And yeah, he didn't get to take a picture of a baffled genius trying to figure out how the fuck to peddle the boats and not just go in a circle for Rhodes, but what he did get was better.

After all, he'd already been fond of the manic look he'd glimpsed earlier. And Tony was downright adorable most of the time, but with his hair all mussed and his cheek smeared with oil? That was hot shit right there, and it hadn't even been the end of it. Tony had eventually gotten frustrated with the way his shirt kept getting in the way and had stripped it off, leaving behind a skin-tight tank top and muscles that were, frankly, lickable. His boyfriend was a goddamn _snack_ , and he was more than happy to send Rhodes the proof of that.

Even if he did immediately receive a string of emojis back that boiled down to 'I'm watching you' along with several knives, two bombs, a martini and - most disturbingly - a swan. Rhodes would learn that he wasn't out to take advantage of Tony or hurt him. And honestly? As smoking as the guy was, Clint was more interested in the beautiful brain that dreamed up semi-sentient coffee pots named Bernice and hacked in NASA for a grilled cheese sandwich. He was smitten with the shy sweetness that seemed to live close to Tony's bones and wasn't particularly concerned with jumping them.

Sex was _nothing_ compared to those radiant smiles Tony gave him. He'd kill to keep them, and murder was _way_ harder and more involved than simple celibacy. Rhodes didn't have anything to worry about, because he wasn't going to push. When Tony was ready, they'd talk about whatever they needed to talk about. Until then? Kisses, cuddles, and emergency screwdrivers were the order of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony did not want to go on the peddle boats. No matter how much I begged, he insisted he needed to stay on land and fix them instead. :'D Clint thinks it's freaking adorable, so it works out in the end. He's not even sorry he gave away those archery lessons for nothing.
> 
> On a more serious note...
> 
> The world is currently a weird, unsettling place. I work in a public Elementary School in the US and it has been a journey. Last Thursday, we were assuming school would continue until the April break and then we _might_ need to stay closed an extra week. Friday afternoon when I swung by (as a TA I had the day off for conferences) the teachers were putting packets together 'just in case'. Friday night, we had school Monday and Tuesday, then would shut down. At 10:30 on Sunday night we learned that our school was closed effective immediately. Our fobs were disabled, and only a select few could even get into the building.
> 
> My friends, I nearly had to stage a break-in to rescue my poor Christmas cactus. Luckily they gave us a 2-hour window today to get our stuff. My heart is still breaking because on Thursday we were all telling the kids 'have a nice weekend' and now we won't get to see them for weeks.
> 
> I'm faced with at least 4 weeks of an involuntary vacation, and thankful as hell that I'm getting paid because a lot of people aren't. In these crazy times, we all need to find ways to stay active and sane. I'm going to do my best to keep writing and provide silly little escapes. Though I'm terrible with such things, I'm hoping to be able to get a story or chapter up at least every other day. I hope I can provide even a little bit of a distraction to those who might need it. <3
> 
> Take care of yourselves and each other!


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